Defensive Driving

There's 6 hours of my life I won't get back. A major part of last Saturday was spent in a stupor watching VHS tapes, and listening to a memorized presentation of defensive driving info. I kept thinking of Homer Simpson laughing, "Its funny because its not me."

Two memorable impressions from the day:

I won't feel the urge to eat at a buffet style restaurant any time soon - maybe a Souper Salad, but not a Golden Corral type. The class was in a separate room in a buffet eatery. Its not the food that failed, altho the food wasn't memorable either. Unfortunately it was the other people eating there. How to say this?? Most of the other folks were over what you would call recommended weight. And by a wide margin. I myself could lose 15 pounds or so and I could use some major conditioning, but I looked positively skinny in comparison. My appetite vanished before eating (except for a piece of apple pie) and when I did eat, it was not much. I really have sympathy for people in an obese condition - however it appears resignation and apathy has set it in for them.

I sat in the back row next to the wall on the left side of the room. To my right was a taxi driver from Austin who didn't speak English very well, it appeared a mid-eastern language was probably his native language. This was fortuitous since I didn't have to talk to anyone as a result! At the end of the class everyone has to take a test and get at least 70% of the answers correct. All day the instructor pointed out exactly what was on the test. Right before the test was handed out, the instructor read aloud every question and the multiple choice answers and then the correct answer. Every question. The tests were then handed out. I blasted through mine and sat around for a few minutes before we graded the test. We were asked to exchange with the person next to us so I exchanged with the taxi driver. At a glance I could tell he'd only answered about 5 questions of the 20. I waved to the instructor to wait - my guy's test had a "few" unanswered questions. He waved me off and told me to grade my own paper (I made a 100!) and to give the taxi driver his paper back. As we are checking answers the taxi driver is answering the unanswered questions. He managed to pass with an 80. Somehow he missed 4 while the answers are being given.

Class over and I walk out into the parking lot to be picked up by my wife to go home. The taxi driver offers me a free ride home in his cab. Think, think, think. Ah, no thanks.



Homer in Defensive Driving - if it were only this funny.